Posted tagged ‘pure fiction’

The Agent

September 17, 2008

         O.K. folks.  Here he is. THE AGENT.  Whereabouts unknown.  International man of mystery.

        Once the Agent was in a workshop at a small book store in New Mexico.  One lady wanted him to get her anthology of casserole recipes carried by Barnes and Noble.  He was polite, but told her he was concerned he might not be able to sell it- casserole recipes were not hot that year- and she beat him with a tennis shoe.

        Being the Southern Gentleman he is, it was against his code of ethics to hit back, but he did not accept new clients for six months after the incident.  I had to chase him longer than I did my wife.  (She married me after eight proposals- she decided I warn’t going away.)

        His geneolgy is a mystery but I have been told he is a direct decendant of Huckleberry Finn.

        The agent wishes to maintain his anonymity and does not allow pictures, but at our last conference I secretly sketched him.  The light was bad, but this is a very close image.

        I hope he does not fire me for this post.  If you run into him I have but one request.  Tell him you are going to buy Dr. Tommy Bibey’s book but only on the condition the Agent gets his 15% cut.  And tell him you like Bibey’s writing and he can draw good too, ’cause it looks just like him.

        Thanks,

Dr. B      

Whereabouts unknown...

Whereabouts unknown...

 P.S.  To the boss.  I’ll get that fifteen bucks in the mail as soon as I’m paid.

Important News- Creation Of USGAEMA

September 17, 2008

        Ya’ll a new government agency has been approved.  It is the United States Government Agency for the Elimination of Medical Abbreviations, or USGAEMA.

        Now before you worry I want to reassure.  It is fully approved and sanctioned by HIPAA, COLA, CLIA, AND other important government offices.  Docs should apply for their application prior to April 15, 2009, and must use both their UPIN and NPI numbers as well as their SSN.  (They invented it to give us full rights to our privacy)

        And also I don’t want you to worry about this being any kinda partisan issue.  We have been assured by the USGAO the measure has full BS.  (Bipartisan support)

        Yall have a good’un.  Off to play music today.  (I am a bit concerned, though.  I am a member of both the IBMA and SPBGMA.  I hope they don’t find out and eliminate them, too.)

Dr. B

Top Secret V.P. shake up to be announced

September 12, 2008

        I, Tommy B. Bibey, have it on good authority that a major Presidential Party announcement is imminent.  The top secret selection of a new V.P. choice is slated for release this weekend, Saturday, September 13th, in Brevard, N.C. 

       Sam Bush, multiple award winning mandolinist, and here-to-fore (but not for long) thwarted Presidential aspiree plans to announce his surprise choice for running mate of (insert drum roll here)  ta-dah…

        Tim O’Brien!!

        If they win, I’m gonna put in for Surgeon General.  I am confident they’ll want a mandolin doc in the Cabinet, or at least one who’d carry the case to gigs, anyway.  I hope they’ll pick me and y’all will support me.

        Gotta crunk up the old Neuse River converted school bus and hit the road.  We’ve got a gig and they say you can only get ten gallons of gas at a time this week-end.  It might take us a while to get there.  Not to fear, though.  Part of Sam’s platform is a fuel tax break for working bluegrass bands.  Talk to you Monday.

Dr. B

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