The Ranks of the Rinky Dink/Hoop Jumping 101

        Like all modern professions there is a certain amount of hoop jumping that goes with the territory.  Some of it is a bit silly, but I figure you gotta roll with life.  I take it for what it is.

        For example, we Docs have to periodically take some on-line kind of test to prove we know our business.  This is no problem for me.  I never forget a patient, and if you know them you can figure out the right answers to the questions every time.  

        I decided to have a little fun this last go-round.  I was done with the simulation in no time flat.  To tell you the truth, I am concerned for any Doc who can’t blaze through that no sweat.  Here ‘s where the fun came in.  After you got all the basics down, you could start to enter questions the computer had to answer.  I started out with the easy ones:

        “Does your head feel bigger than a peck bucket?”

        “I am sorry, I do not recognize.”

        “O.K.  Your  knee be swolle?”

        “Sorry- do not recognize.”

         “Let’s talk about your diet.”

        “O.K.”

        “Last time you were in you said you had three thirds of a biscuit for breakfast.  Any change?”

        “Pardon?”

        Pretty soon the machine began to beg me to leave.   “You may exit the simulation.  You may exit now.”

       “Hell, no.  I have some more questions for you.”

       “Pardon?  You may  exit now.”   Then, “Congratulations, you have passed this clinical simulation.”

        “Wait a minute.”

         “Have a nice day.”

         Of course, this all has little to do with doctoring, but everything to do with life lessons.  I have learned to deal with people, and if you make enough of a pest out of yourself those kind of folks will go away.  And too, I have to give my kids a lot of credit.  They are computer geniuses.  As for me when I was a kid I used a slide rule, and as I have said before a bluetooth was something in need of a dentist, but this old man is adaptable.

        I can jump through hoops with the best of  em.  It’s like GOEMA, the government office for the elimination of medical abbreviations.  To stay in compliance, I have to join the ranks of the rinky dink to continue to play ball, but I do.  For my efforts I get to be a doctor.  Other than being a husband and father, it was my most sacred privilege on earth, so I do what I have to to keep being Dr. B.

Dr. B

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My Perfect Day

        Maybe there is something wrong with me, but I am a very simple man.  I hear folks talk about snorkel dives in Aruba, Vegas slot machines, or fancy cars, and I have to admit I’m too busy at home to take all that in.

        I read one time that Arnold Palmer had a golf game with a guest at his home club in Latrobe, Pennsylvania.  It was a one of those early fall days- crisp sweater weather but not too cold.  Arnold turned to the fellow and said, (paraphrased) “You know, I’ve been all around the world, but I’m just as happy to be here at Latrobe as anywhere.  This is a perfect day for golf.”  One thing about Arnie- he was world class, but didn’t get above his raising and forget his roots.  I admire that.

        I’ll never amount to what Arnie did, but I can identify with his sentiment.  My perfect day would be to see my favorite patients till lunch, play golf in the afternoon with Jacob and the choose-up boys, then eat supper with my family.   I’d say grace and be thankful for the good fortune that my people live in peace the way we do. Then I’d check in with my blog pals and write a few words about my day.  After that, I’d get together with Darrell and Summer, Moose and Warbler and all the gang and pick bluegrass music till two o’clock in the morning.  The next day I’d get up and do the same thing again.  I guess I am boring, but that is what I’d do if had to walk the green mile tomorrow.

        What would y’all do on your perfect day?  Write and let me know.

Dr. B

A Tale of Two Letters

        A patient was in and had two letters from the same insurance company.  They deemed it urgent the doctor address this problem.  One letter said the company could not approve Nexium, the other asked why he was not taking it.

        This is how Docs spend our time, and your insurance dollars, these days.

        You might wonder why an old doctor feels compelled to write.  There are very few human truths.   Through writing I have found some of them.  I have not seen any in the health insurance industry yet, but I’ll continue the search.

Dr. B

Saved by The Bell

        I don’t know what to make of all this Wall Street business.  Billions of dollars changing in hands in massive rich person buy-outs.  It is beyond me.  I’m like mrschili- I don’t understand any of it.

        Somehow I take a bit of heart, though.  I figure the powers that be are worried and gonna take action.  They have to make gas affordable enough for us all to get to work and our hard earned income safe enough in the bank for all us little guys.  If we don’t do that, how they can remain mega wealthy?

        Well, like I said before I never understood money anyway, and I have no control of any of that.  I feel sorry for the ones who have spent their life bullying people to get there.  If a man don’t find love or play any music it’d be a poor life in spite of financial wealth.  I wouldn’t trade places for any amount of money.  And I ain’t rationalizing there- for me that’s just the way it is.

        I figure they’ll find a way to save us at the bell.  If we don’t go to work every day, how in the world are they gonna get rich telling us what to do?

Dr. B

Important News- Creation Of USGAEMA

        Ya’ll a new government agency has been approved.  It is the United States Government Agency for the Elimination of Medical Abbreviations, or USGAEMA.

        Now before you worry I want to reassure.  It is fully approved and sanctioned by HIPAA, COLA, CLIA, AND other important government offices.  Docs should apply for their application prior to April 15, 2009, and must use both their UPIN and NPI numbers as well as their SSN.  (They invented it to give us full rights to our privacy)

        And also I don’t want you to worry about this being any kinda partisan issue.  We have been assured by the USGAO the measure has full BS.  (Bipartisan support)

        Yall have a good’un.  Off to play music today.  (I am a bit concerned, though.  I am a member of both the IBMA and SPBGMA.  I hope they don’t find out and eliminate them, too.)

Dr. B

Money/Medicine

        Last night as I drifted off to sleep, some commentator on T.V. was going on about Lehman Brothers going under.  When  I woke up this morning I thought it must have been some kinda bad dream or something- that couldn’t be real.

        At least if you can believe what you read, it is though.  When the speculation starts as to whether there could be a run on retail banks, it’s like some kinda Jimmy Stewart movie.  I feel sorry for all those employees, and also all the people hit by the crunch- young folks just starting out with mortgages etc.  I don’t know exactly what impact all this will have.

        As a country doc, I never did pay much attention to or know much about money.  I lived to try to take care of sick people and my family and to pick a little bluegrass music.  I’m glad I did not base my existence on the accumulation of dollars.  I have a notion the accounting that is gonna go on pretty soon will make a lot of people sad if that is all they ever lived for.

        My Dad lived through the Great Depression.  In difficult times, he always says he grew up planting tomatoes in the back yard, and he was just as happy then as he is now.  He was a Doc all his life, and like me did O.K. but did not become wealthy.  I think I’ll call him today and get his perspective.  In my lifetime the country has never seen real hard times, but he’s been there. 

Dr. B

Today is 9/11

        Today is 9/11.  Regardless of race, color, creed, religion, political party or anything else, there ain’t no way for all of us to be anything but sad.  I can not imagine how those families still hurt.

        I’m a yak at times, but I am gonna observe a moment of silence for everyone who was touched by the tragedy.  By definition, I think it is all of us, ’cause nothing will ever be the same, but it more true for those families than anyone.

Dr. B

Gone Shopping

        It’s Wednesday, and I’m gonna go shopping.   Now before you do a double take and check to see if you logged onto the wrong blog, let me tell you, yeah this is Dr. Bibey, and yes, you heard me right.  I’m going shopping.

        Yep, I’m not only gonna shop, but I’m gonna take in a chick flick, and maybe go to brunch and drink some of that fancy coffee like what they talk about on T. V.  You know- the stuff sorta like that special moment variety, a cappuccino frappo hoop-tee-do.

        One time I wrote a coffee song.  In regards to regular black coffee, (high test) which is my favorite, some of the words went:

        “Special moments for me….. Can simply be….. Poured up from an old tin can.”

        So anyway, I know you must wonder.  What is that crazy bluegrass picking doctor golfer Bibey up to?  Has he done gone loco?  I mean, this is a guy who didn’t know socks came in any color besides white until half way through college.

        Well, there is a logical explanation.  You see, they spiked (or punched) the greens today.  Now, I ain’t talking salad here.  What I mean is they aerated at the golf course.  In the long run it is the right thing to do, ’cause the putting surface will be slick in a month, but for now it will wreck the greens.

        Now, it ain’t like I’m fooling my Marfar.  They first time I suggested years ago that we go shopping and take in a chick flick, her response was, “Huh?”

        As we drove out of River Run, though, she saw the ground crew on those machines chewing up the turf, and she just smiled.  

       I might be a dumb man a lot of the time, but I ain’t all dumb, and I know to take my wife shopping every so often.  Whenever they spike the greens it is a golden opportunity.  The boys go out of town to play, but I figure my wife deserves a few of my Wednesdays.  I wonder what’s on at the movies.

        And I’m gonna order up some of that special coffee too.  We’re gone to the mall and other points unknown.  It’s her day and she deserves it and more.

Dr. B