A Good Marriage and a Game of Black Jack

        I suppose you wonder how these two are connected. After many decades of a good marriage and some card games years ago, I know a little about both subjects.

        Marriage is like a game of Black Jack. You have to appreciate the hand you hold. My wife and I only have a few absolute rules. We don’t expect each other to be perfect.

        If your spouse doesn’t do drugs, sleep with other people, spend money like a drunken sailor, or frequent the bars over in the big city, then you have a hand of about eighteen. Better hold it. If you’re lucky and they make good soup and love music, you have a hand of twenty. Any fool knows in Black Jack not to draw another card with that kind of hand.

        I realize twenty-one is perfect, but that’s too much to ask for, and can’t be done over the long haul. I don’t see any point to ask for what I know I can’t deliver myself. Ask for perfection, draw another card, and see what happens. Sure loss. You’ll end up with no hand to hold at all.

        My best doctor advice for the day: If you have a hand of eighteen or better I’d hold it close and be thankful for what you have.

Dr. B

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12 Comments on “A Good Marriage and a Game of Black Jack”

  1. jel Says:

    I agree with ya there! 😉

    oh got your book!!!!!! now i will have something to read this weekend 🙂

    • drtombibey Says:


      Very cool! If you like the book I hope you’ll give me five stars on Amazon. And if you don’t.. well, I’ll send you a copy of my next one, ’cause I’m always intent on improvement as I go along in life.

      Dr. B

  2. newt221 Says:

    Great advice Dr. B. When I found out that I was with somone who was dealing from the bottom of the deck…well, I folded my hand and left.

    I guess Kenny Rogers had that one pretty good.

    • drtombibey Says:


      My guess is you played that hand just right! I have found if a guy will cheat at cards or golf he will sure cheat in business and has almost zero chance of being faithful to his wife.

      If a guy cheats you in a card game (or more serious matters) just don’t shoot him, tempting as it may be. No use in spending life in jail over a loser.

      Dr. B

      • newt221 Says:

        You gotta remember I am from the “deep” south… I am a lowcounty girl. If I wanted him to disappear, really disappear, well…nuff said…

        What was that song Earl gotta die…. LOL

        Good thing I am honest and God fearing as they come.

  3. drtombibey Says:


    Know what you mean. Years ago a person caused some trouble for a family member. We prevailed, and they were kinda upset at the tenacity that resulted in some jail time. I told the Judge to tell ’em I said, “No, they need to be thankful they ran into someone who chooses to resolve his differences with words instead of guns. The next cat might kill ’em instead.”

    Matter of fact, some of my loyal patients from way up in the country asked if they could solve it with ball bats. I wasn’t sure they were serious, but I said, “No boys, that just isn’t Doc’s way.”

    Like you, I prefer to keep my dignity. It sometimes saves someone from a fate they might deserve.

    Dr. B

  4. jel Says:

    do you have a e-mail address?

    finish your book

  5. I love this post. Just love it. Read it to my husband of fourteen years and we both just grinned like fools.

    I need to catch up on your blog, but “The Mandolin Case” has shot up in the top five of my book wish list this MONTH!

    Can’t wait.

    • drtombibey Says:


      Old Doc had several things go his way in life, but the best was a good marriage and the sense to hold on to it.

      When you get around to “The Mandolin Case” I hope you’ll let me know what you think.

      Dr. B

  6. Wade Says:

    Very nice article Doc. I am married and while blackjack is not my game, poker is. I loved the analogies.

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