Behind the Scenes

        It’s what people do that no one sees that counts to me.

        An established  fellow in the music industry pulled one of my young friends aside and offered him a lot of good advice and support in his work. No one was watching, and no one knew about it. It was something the man didn’t have to do. If fact, some folks would say the younger artist was his “competition,” and in the modern world the established artist would be obligated to thwart my friend’s efforts. The fact this gentleman didn’t see it that way forever elevates my opinion of him as a human being, although I can’t say I know him.

        One of my best friends has a saying I love. “A true friend is never jealous or envious.”  He’s just as happy if something good happens to me as if it happens to him.  I feel the same way. My guess is this artist was secure enough in his own journey and faith that he could offer help to another and not feel threatened.

        I’ve never heard anybody say anything bad about the man, but if I did I believe I’d have to say, “Well, I don’t know the guy, but I think he tries to be kind when ain’t no one looking.”

        As they say, you only get one first impression, and the incident made a big impression on me.

Dr. B

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8 Comments on “Behind the Scenes”

  1. Billy Says:

    Once I was east of Jackson, Ms. and saw a man with his car hood lifted. I stopped and offered to take him to get help. He said he was on the way to St. Dominic’s Hospital to see his ill mother and asked if I mind dropping him there, which I did.

    When he got out he looked me in the eye and said. “Sir, thank you for the help. You know that is what it’s all about don’t you?”

    I looked at him puzzled.

    “We are all in this world to help each other. If we don’t, we are throwing away what gives life meaning.”

    His words still haunt.

  2. This reminds of a James Taylor concert I saw last year. He spent intermission at the front of the stage signing autographs and having his picture taken. He had to be physically walked off a few minutes before the second set.

    His music was as good as always, but his graciousness and generosity impressed me no end.

    • drtombibey Says:


      I don’t know James Taylor, but that is his reputation. He’s a Carolina boy of course. His Daddy was the Dean of the Medical School at U.N.C. for a while.

      Dr. B

  3. Sharon Says:

    Dr B
    I believe that one altruistic deed is worth ten bad ones. Just as they say you use more muscles to frown than smile, it takes more energy to practice indifference or miserliness than to be generous. Generosity costs nothing

    • drtombibey Says:


      So true. It is so easy to create good will and takes such a fight and so much energy when someone chooses to cause trouble. I’ll never understand why some people don’t get it.

      Dr. B

  4. That’s a lovely tale, Dr. B. And I agree with your friend – I think true friendship transcends emotions like jealousy or envy. I have friends I’m envious of – but then, when I think about it, I realize that those are people who I don’t always respect and don’t feel secure with. With my TRUE friends, I never get that feeling.

    • drtombibey Says:


      I agree. I have had life better than what I deserve and I want the best for everybody.

      About the only time I get riled up is when some folks take advantage of people. Then I can turn into a beast.

      Dr. B

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