Dr. B’s Secrets to Longevity
I have been a Doc a long time. Along the way, I have learned some secrets about longevity from my patients.
Years ago, one of my patients made it well into his hundreds. I got to where I didn’t charge him. He was way too valuable in terms of advertisement. When people asked him how he lived so long, he said it was because he chased young women, chewed Wrigley’s Spearmint gum, and that Tommy Bibey was his doctor.
In a small town word of mouth is everything. A number of people signed up for me as Doc because of that man, but today I have to tell you what is true; all the credit was due to the Good Lord.
Last week I saw a lady who was 96. She was in a hurry to get to the Walmarks. I asked her if she was going to drive, and she said, “Heavens no, Sis is gonna take me.” Sis is my patient too and she is 99. I attribute her long life to that baby aspirin I prescribe for her on MWF, but that is not it. She knows the real secret is to choose your ancestors carefully!
Another fellow I had was a volunteer at the Nursing Home in his 90s. Someone asked him why he did all that, and he said, “Someone has to look after these old folks.” I love his spirit. It never occurred to him to ask anyone to look after him; he was all about helping someone else.
I am not certain why some people live so long, but it seems most of them are sweet little old ladies or farmers. For the most part aggressive and hostile chain smokers don’t seem fit the profile, although I guess there are a few.
The Lord knows all the real secrets. As the song says, when we get to heaven ‘farther along we’ll know all about it.’ There we will have an eternity to figure out what we don’t understand here.
Dr. BPhilosophy, Writing
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