Literary Influences/Lawyers and Golf

        Yesterday I visited a lawyer man.  If my book gets a contract, I figure I’ll need someone to read it over.  This fellow came highly recommended from several contacts in the N.C. intellectual property rights world. 

         He asked me what my literary influences were.  He was a very worldly man.  He knew many smart and artistic people.  He’d played golf all over the world.  I hated to admit all I ever played was River Run, and Harvey Country Club every so often on an invite.

        I thought about his question a long time.  I hated to appear to be too country, but then again I guess you have to be what you are, and can’t change it.

        “Well, my agent always says the King James is the bedrock of Southern Literature and I am a Southern writer, or at least want to be.  I agree with him on that.  My mama taught me to love and respect the King James, so I gotta go with that first.”

         “Anything else?”

        “Hmn.  How can you not like Conroy or Grisham?  If 1% of those readers thought I was any good I’d be satisfied.  Heck, I like Jimmy Buffett, too.”

        “Yes, I also find Warren’s financial advice to be excellent.”

         “Warren?  Oh no, not Warren.  I’m talking about Jimmy Buffett.  You know; like ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ Buffett.”

         “Pardon?”  He looked over my resume again.  “What kind of doctor did you say you were?”

        “Country Doctor.  I swear man, I am for real.”

        “I see.   And your literary influences again?”  

        “O.K.  How ’bout Twain, too?  I like him a bunch.  My agent says you have to write about conflict.  How could there be any more conflict than  that?  The King James is all about God, and Mark Twain is well…. uh…..let’s just say he was a bit mischievous.  Ain’t that the human conflict?  After all, Jesus was the only human I know who could live like God.  The rest of us are more inclined to live like Twain.”

          He smiled.  “I suppose so.  I like a story with symbolism.”  He opened up my box and pulled out the manuscript.  “O.K. if I read it?”

         “Sure.  I figure if you’re gonna sign up to be my lawyer on this thing you’ll have to whether you want to or not.”

        “Tell you what Doc.  I’ll say yes on faith.  If your agent lands a contract, I’ll be your lawyer.”


        “Say you play golf?”

        “Yes sir.”

        “What’s your handicap?”

       “Seven.  Ask your colleague Martin Taylor for a reference.  He’s a six.  I can play to it, at least with a month’s practice.  Got a bit of rust on the game from all the work on the book.”

        “Seven.  Good.  Can you play in a tournament next month?  I want you on my team.  It’s worth 10% off your first bill.


       “Now I have to warn you.  We’ll bet some. “

        “That’s O.K.  Just don’t tell my mama.  She’ll think I’ve been reading that Twain guy again.  I promised her I’d put the King James first.”

        “O.K. Doc.  I promise.  We’re on. “

        I better go hit some practice balls.  I don’t think it’d be too good to lose a bunch of money for this cat right off the bat.  One thing about lawyers; they all seems to understand money.

Dr. B

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3 Comments on “Literary Influences/Lawyers and Golf”

  1. Parson Bob Says:

    Lemme get this straight, Doc: you’re going to, out of your own free will and eyes wide open, play a round or two of white ball with a lawyer who says, “We’ll bet some”? Doc, Doc; take a deep breath. Again. Once more. And you didn’t even get this guy’s handicap, or did you? One piece of unsolicited advice: pay up on your church pledge before the tournament. Then go get him!

  2. drtombibey Says:


    Oh I didn’t explain. Me and him are gonna be on the same team.

    He says he’s a ten, but he looks athletic. I am betting he is better than that.

    Shucks, the Twain side of me was going to use the winnings to pay up my pledge, but I guess you are right and I should act in faith and get that done before the game. Mama said put the King’s James first, and I don’t want to disappoint her.

    Dr. B

  3. drtombibey Says:

    Note from Dr. B. After I read the Parson’s comment, this post was edited for clarity.

    Thanks Parson, and I hope to see you out on the bluegrass road.

    Dr. B

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