News Flash: Appalachian Monkey Types Out Novel
There is one thing my agent drilled in me from day one. “Son,” he said. “When you write fiction you must show the truth.” So, I want to say right up front this is a true story.
I have always heard if you put a monkey in front of a typewriter and leave them there long enough, they’ll eventually type out a novel. Well, right here in North Carolina that has happened. One monkey of Appalachian Piedmont Sandhills heritage has done just that.
Remember how I told you my manuscript had some format issues? Well my computer guru just called. They have those corrected and it is ready to forward back to my agent.
They were mystified, though. How could anyone write an entire novel and have not a clue in the world about their computer word processor program?
“Not a problem. I just sat down and started typing.”
“Well it shows. This thing is great, but honest to goodness, it is formatted like you’ve been wrestling alligators.”
“You aren’t mad are you?
“No, but I gotta admit you are the only human being I know who has the tenacity to write a novel and have no idea what you are doing.”
“Thanks. I take that as a huge compliment.”
“Only you, Doc. I’m putting the finishing touches on it right now. You sure did this the hard way.”
See, my computer guru has known me a long time. I just don’t have much give up in me. When I got a mandolin, I played my first gig with it three weeks later. (I wasn’t very good; my daughter once said I had no shame. That must be true; other than my wife no female knows me better.)
The only thing in life I ever prepared for was to be a Doc, and I did work hard at that. For everything else I just lived. One day I decided I wanted to write a novel to show all about the country doctor life. From what my computer guru says, despite all odds that seems to be what happened.
I think I’ll speed read it one more time before I send it on to my agent. I’ve exasperated him enough for one lifetime, and I might catch a few typos.
So, pass the bananas. It’ll be a year before it makes it to print, but I can’t wait for you to read it.
Dr. B
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Dr. Tom Bibey: Stories of the Bluegrass Music Road 
January 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm
And I can’t wait to read it, Doc! YAY, You!!
Look, here’s the thing; so much gets made about having “training” and being a “professional,” and I think that most of it is hooey. Anyone who wants to can write, whether they know how to make their word processing programs do tricks or not.
January 8, 2009 at 2:47 pm
mrschili,
The best thing about this writing gig is it has allowed me to meet all the cool people. It’s about like playing the mandolin.
Dr. B
January 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Yes, I agree to a point with Mrs. Chili, anyone can write. But….would you want to read it? Your book, I want to read.
My French professor was famous for saying that about art. People will put a big red dot on a canvas and call it art. When questioned, the artist says “but would you?”
January 9, 2009 at 1:56 am
Ms. Cindy,
I reckon someone will read it even if I have to do book signings at the zoo.
Dr. B
January 9, 2009 at 11:19 am
A year isn’t all that long, Dr. B! If it’ll be published in a year, then I know I will definitely be in a book-shop buying it in a year’s time.
I would, however, like to be offended on your behalf for insinuating that you are anything like a monkey. Monkeys, though charming animals, do not have the dedication, nor the writing skills, to churn out a novel such as yours, if only because there are no monkeys who are also doctors. So there. No more insulting Dr. B, or I will be quite mad at you! [*Grin*]
January 9, 2009 at 11:31 am
Ms slightly,
Bless your heart kid, like my daughter you are watching out for the old man.
Dr. B
April 29, 2009 at 12:25 pm
hello i love monkeys hahaah!
April 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Ms. Angie,
Well hello and thanks for dropping by. The monkeys of the world like me need all the help they can get.
Dr. B