The Ranks of the Rinky Dink/Hoop Jumping 101

        Like all modern professions there is a certain amount of hoop jumping that goes with the territory.  Some of it is a bit silly, but I figure you gotta roll with life.  I take it for what it is.

        For example, we Docs have to periodically take some on-line kind of test to prove we know our business.  This is no problem for me.  I never forget a patient, and if you know them you can figure out the right answers to the questions every time.  

        I decided to have a little fun this last go-round.  I was done with the simulation in no time flat.  To tell you the truth, I am concerned for any Doc who can’t blaze through that no sweat.  Here ‘s where the fun came in.  After you got all the basics down, you could start to enter questions the computer had to answer.  I started out with the easy ones:

        “Does your head feel bigger than a peck bucket?”

        “I am sorry, I do not recognize.”

        “O.K.  Your  knee be swolle?”

        “Sorry- do not recognize.”

         “Let’s talk about your diet.”


        “Last time you were in you said you had three thirds of a biscuit for breakfast.  Any change?”


        Pretty soon the machine began to beg me to leave.   “You may exit the simulation.  You may exit now.”

       “Hell, no.  I have some more questions for you.”

       “Pardon?  You may  exit now.”   Then, “Congratulations, you have passed this clinical simulation.”

        “Wait a minute.”

         “Have a nice day.”

         Of course, this all has little to do with doctoring, but everything to do with life lessons.  I have learned to deal with people, and if you make enough of a pest out of yourself those kind of folks will go away.  And too, I have to give my kids a lot of credit.  They are computer geniuses.  As for me when I was a kid I used a slide rule, and as I have said before a bluetooth was something in need of a dentist, but this old man is adaptable.

        I can jump through hoops with the best of  em.  It’s like GOEMA, the government office for the elimination of medical abbreviations.  To stay in compliance, I have to join the ranks of the rinky dink to continue to play ball, but I do.  For my efforts I get to be a doctor.  Other than being a husband and father, it was my most sacred privilege on earth, so I do what I have to to keep being Dr. B.

Dr. B

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12 Comments on “The Ranks of the Rinky Dink/Hoop Jumping 101”

  1. Cindy Carter Says:

    I laughed out loud when I read this. I have yet to meet someone who could have a computer ask them to “leave” or “quit confusing it”. Kudos to you.

    When I worked for one of the Big Banks, we tried a voice recognition program to allow people to acquire information about their accounts. Unfortunately, the program could not be “programmed” to recognize all of the different “southern accents” that it would encounter here. It was a hoot.

    I will have to ask my Dr. Brother if he has had the same fun with the computer when he has to do simulations. He would love it.

  2. drtombibey Says:

    Ms Cindy,

    You always get me! The point is indeed if you really know the patient, and you always proceed in their best interest, you hold the trump card over all the regulators the system can throw at you.

    Dr. B

  3. Ah, Dr. B, you had me in tears of mirth. I absolutely love doing this sort of thing to computers – flummoxing computer programs has got to be one of the more amusing useless pastimes there are.
    Let me give you an example – in the very early days of computer games, there was this certain type of game where you would type in a command for your character, and he or she would do it. For instance, I’d tell Hugo to “Check Bookcase” and he would find a yellow book and then the bookcase would slide open, etc. My friend and I found a game like this a while back and installed it just for laughs – we started telling our character to do all sorts of ridiculous things, to which they’d reply “I don’t understand what you mean.” or “What?” and eventually, the most amusing, was when we got annoyed and told our character “Go to hell” and the reply was surprisingly “The same to you, Loser!”

    I think that GEOMA is one of the most brilliant things I’ve ever read about… And, on the flip side, the fact that doctors need to take an online test once a year [after how many grueling years in med-school for their license?!] to check if they’re still adept is one of the silliest things I’ve ever read.
    Enjoyed your post as always,

  4. drtombibey Says:

    ms. slightly,

    You are a cool kid.

    I have a bit of fun with ’em , ’cause I do more continuing medical education than is required anyway. When you finish med school you have to keep digging because things keep changing.

    All that being said, the little simulations are just that. I can land an airplane on the computer, but I wouldn’t recommend flying with me.

    Dr. B

  5. You have really scared me. 🙂

  6. drtombibey Says:

    Ms Pamela,

    There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes for doctors, but the bottom line for me to is to be as good to my patients as I can.

    Now as far as airplanes if Tommy Bibey offers to be the pilot for your next flight, I’d run.

    Dr. B

  7. Julius Says:

    I cannot wait till I’m old enough to have the sort of patience with these things as you. Unfortunately, I’m still at that stage where I complain about having to jump through these hoops. After reading this post and speaking with another influential character in my life right now, I’ve tried to remain calm tonight as I caught up on a lot of these hoopty-do’s I’ve been putting off for quite a while now. One included making sure a recent internship counted as a requirement that I need to complete before graduating; this is a requirement that seems deliberately hard to accomplish (conspiracy!). It’s the last major requirement I need for my third year medical rotations, and the last chance I had to complete it before I’ll have to spend much more time on it later than originally intended. Well, I completed the number of procedures necessary, but not the amount of time–I spent 2 weeks instead of their wanting 4 weeks. What kind of crap is that? Opps, there goes me complaining again.

    I either need to develop patience quickly, or hop on the drum set and take out my frustration on it. I wonder if my dad would be upset if I started playing at 1:30 in the morning, waking him up? I think I’d be in worse trouble then! So I’ll just continue punishing the laptops keyboard for now.

  8. drtombibey Says:


    There is an enormous amount of hoop jumping for young people nowadays.

    If somehow you can combine the patience of an old salt like me with the energy and enthusiasm of a young buck like yourself, you might well rule the world.

    I make it a point to deal with the craziness that will not go away on it’s own head on, and get it behind me right away. Then I go play my mandolin while others fret.

    Dr. B

  9. pandemonic Says:

    Oh, my. Really funny, yet scary at the same time. Makes me want to pray for my continued decent health! 🙂

  10. drtombibey Says:

    Ms Pande,

    It is a bit scary, huh?

    I wish you good health. It is far more valuable than access to all the good doctors in the world.

    Dr. B

  11. heidiwriter Says:

    Clinical simulation LOL! I can just imagine!!


  12. drtombibey Says:

    Hey there Heidi,

    If I can turn the mundane into a bit of a game it is much more fun.

    One of these days I guess I’ll grow up, but I am trying to avoid it.

    Dr. B

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