How To Win A Charity Golf Tournament

        O.K. folks, here is Dr. B’s primer on how to win a charity Captain’s choice golf tournament.

        We won Wednesday, and here is our formula.  It has worked many times.

        First, and most obvious, your ‘A’ player must be an ace.  Ours, ‘Birdman’ Graylord, was that and more. 

        Second, your ‘B’ man must be reliable, boring, and good for about 60% pars.  He should play like you want your family doctor to be-conservative, not flashy, few mistakes, and only lose two or three golf balls a summer.  Just plum dull except for the brain.  That would be me.

        Your ‘C’ man should be rated as such only because he can’t hit far anymore, but still chips and putts like a wild man.  Take a guy like Sammy.  He spent his youth jumping outta airplanes all over Europe in WWII with dynamite strapped to his chest.  He ain’t gonna fret over a three foot putt.

        But your most important player is your “D” man.  Now I know you must think, ‘Dr. B that don’t make no sense,’ but it does.  He must be a REAL genuine ‘D’ player – like one with a 36 handicap.  That way you have a bunch of strokes to work with.  And Barry Graylord, Birdman’s big brother, is a legitimate 36.  He plays once a year and only in this tournament.  We have signed him to an exclusive lifetime contract, and he belongs to us.  All he has to do is show up and drive the cart.

         Barry is my insurance agent, and he has a string of trophies on his shelf at the office.  Only problem is his clients keep asking him to play golf and rather than explain he politely declines.

        But before you feel sorry for him, don’t.  He is a fine athlete who once tried out for the Braves and was an All-Conference linebacker.  He just doesn’t play golf.  And don’t make fun of his game either, ’cause he is also an expert in jujitsu.

        But I have to say, for an insurance agent he sure has come by his string of golf trophies in an unusual way.  All of them were won for him by his little brother and an old doctor who only plays golf on Wednesdays.  Golf can be a strange game sometimes.

Dr. B

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9 Comments on “How To Win A Charity Golf Tournament”

  1. Robert Says:

    Good strategies. That C player is key. Because, like you say, it’s usually that type of player who makes all the putts. The stroke might not be that pretty but he will drain 10 footers with his eyes closed.

  2. drtombibey Says:

    Exactly the way ole Sammy plays, Robert- you’ve seen these guys a million times.

    Appreciate your visit- I dig your blog and will be back.

    Dr. B

  3. Billy Says:

    I guess if you want to be a golfer you have to watch other golfers and understand their good and bad points. You try to emulate the best players, and understand what makes bad players bad. Then you have to pick up some clubs and practice.

    I guess if you want to be a saint, you have to jump into the world and understand what is good and what is bad. Then you have to get in there and help others.

    So it is with a writer. If you have something to say and want to be a writer you first have to read a little every day, so you can know the difference between good writing and bad writing. Then you have to sit down and write and write and write.

    Keep writing Dr. B. I find a pearl in everything you write.

  4. drtombibey Says:

    Thanks Billy,

    Watch out for that Birdman guy- he’s a player. And they one they call Bogey is a hustler. He is the one with a cast on his arm.

    Yep, on the writer gig I was lucky. With the help of good coaches I make progress every month.

    Dr. B

  5. Kim Justesen Says:

    I keep hoping my golf game will get better as the year goes on, but instead, my handicap is getting better. Hubby and I played in the year-end tournament for our league, and I had the worst game of the year! Add to this the fact I think I’ve developed a nasty bit of tendonitis in my right elbow because my golf swing is all googley now. Chances are good my clubs will be up on E-bay before Christmas!

  6. drtombibey Says:

    Ms. Kim,

    Try an ortho guy and one of those forearm bands- I hope it gets better.

    We just need to ship out Barry to you for a day. With his handicap you are always in the game.

    Dr. B

  7. pandemonic Says:

    The only way I could win is for the tournament to be best ball. Then I have a shot. Unfortunately, I’ve been in some of those, and I’m always the last to be chosen (just like school!) although my putting eye is pretty good.

  8. […] How To Win A Charity Golf Tournament By drtombibey But I have to say, for an insurance agent he sure has come by his string of golf trophies in an unusual way. All of them were won for him by his little brother and an old doctor who only plays golf on Wednesdays. Golf can be a strange … Dr. Tom Bibey’s Weblog – […]

  9. drtombibey Says:


    Sometimes a woman on the team helps a bunch. I used to have a lady in my practice who could hit it as far as me, but with the advantage of playing from the red tees she was untouchable.

    Dr. B

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