Blooper Against the World
One night on vacation I was taking a snooze as the cable news droned on. Ms. Marfar nudged me. “Hey Tommy, see that guy on T.V.? He’s from the County. His aunt is in the quilt guild with me.”
“Yeah, Yeah, what’s his name, hon….” I glanced at the screen. “Wait a minute. Dangnation, THAT’S BLOOPER!”
“Blooper? Who’s Blooper? His name is Jim.”
I jumped up and ran across the room to take a closer look. It might be forty five years down the road, but the face was unmistakable. It was Blooper. “Honey, you ain’t gonna believe this, but that is 100% for a fact Blooper.”
As it turned out, Blooper is now a high ranking government official in the thick of chasing down some very bad people. I ain’t even gonna tell you what part of the world he is in for fear of compromising his safety. Nowadays he is big and tough, and wore a bunch of medals on his chest. Not the kind of human being a mild mannered doctor want to get in a scrap with, I assure you.
Marfar looked up from her knitting, and peered at me over her glasses. “Blooper? Dear, I’m afraid you have to translate.”
“Oh, when we were kids we all played sandlot ball down at old Washington School. Bloop was four or five years younger than the rest of us, and was a bit pudgy back then. One day he let a ball get between his legs and Larry nicknamed him Blooper. He was quiet and never complained, but I am sure the kid tolerated terminal harassment.”
I watched the interview with great fascination. Blooper was now no kid, but a very serious man whose daily routine involved missions to disrupt terrorist activity. The newsman was timid, and seemed scared of him. Heck, he looked bad to the bone- I would be too. Blooper had done good.
I’m gonna tell you, I’ll bet the terrorists are scared of him too. Any cat who grew up as Blooper and seethed about it near a half century is not to be taken lightly.
Marfar watched a bit longer, and said, “Honey, he seems like a nice man. Y’all shouldn’t have called him Blooper.”
I thought about that for a minute. “Tell you what, hon. When you run into his aunt at the quilt guild, you make sure she knows it wasn’t my idea to call him Blooper. I called him Jim.”
Bloop looks like the kind of fellow you want to keep on your good side. Somehow, I have a notion he hasn’t forgotten much. I sure hope I didn’t call him that; I can’t remember. One better be real careful how they treat people, time has a way of settling up old scores.
Enough on vacation. I’m gonna visit Indie at the Nursing Home this weekend, and I’ll report back to you.
Dr. B
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Dr. Tom Bibey: Stories of the Bluegrass Music Road 
August 12, 2008 at 6:12 am
Bet ole Blooper probably has a pretty good sense of humor. He has to look tough so he seems really scary to the people he is chasing.
I am sure that he was glad that the group he hung out with gave him a nick name.
Just as I am as sure that you all had names for each other. That seems to be what young boys do.
August 12, 2008 at 6:24 am
Cindy,
I guess it is good he had the nickname. It prepared him for life, and I suspect if someone tries to give him grief it is water off a duck’s back.
You are right. We all had nicknames. Mine was Bones ’cause I was so skinny. I played baseball and golf, but football didn’t work so well.
I thought it was terrible to be slender, but my mom (who has the same build) said it would come in handy as I got older ’cause I wouldn’t have to fight the weight battle. As usual, mom was right. I have to watch it, but I don’t have to be as diligent as some of my friends.
Dr. B
August 12, 2008 at 7:40 am
Isn’t it funny how the people we knew as children grow up to be a lot more than you give them credit for at the time. 🙂
August 12, 2008 at 7:55 am
Ms. Pande,
Ain’t it the truth?
I remember going to my ten year class reunion. They had awards for various categories, and one was for who had lost the most weight. The girl’s name was Marie, and boy was she a knock-out. My first reaction was how did I miss that one in high school.
I went back home and got out the year book, and then I was ashamed. The child was about 300 pounds in high school, and had lost to less than 150. I could just barely recall her, and I suspect none of us gave her the time of day. I’ll bet she has cherished her new found drop dead good looks all her adult life, and I hope things went well for her. She deserved a break after what was surely a lonely childhood.
I often wonder what transpired in folk’s lives to result in such a dramatic change.
Dr. B
August 12, 2008 at 8:50 am
The nick names I had as a teenager still torment me, reminding me of the cruelty we influcted on others and had inflicted upon us. Margaret Atwood’s wonderful book “Cat’s Eye” spends a lot of time describing the not so subtle cruelties of girls towards each other. I’m not sure nick names don’t scar us for life. Perhaps Blooper is a tough, no nonsense guy who needs to chase bad guys and isn’t a bit nice because of those kinds of youthful cruelties. – Ted
August 12, 2008 at 9:28 am
Ted,
I don’t know him now, but I suspect you are right. My guess is he turned out very tough.
Nicknames can be terms of endearment, but unfortunately are not always that way.
Dr. B
August 12, 2008 at 3:53 pm
If Blooper is living a mindful life, he might bless those who tormented him in his youth; he couldn’t have become the man he is without those experiences.
August 12, 2008 at 5:10 pm
mrschili,
As justice would have it, his tormenter, Larry, did not amount to a thing. And Blooper would be the first to hate things didn’t go well for Larry- he is that kind of guy.
Dr. B