Smarter ‘n a 5th Grader
There is some show on T.V. these days called ‘Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.’ I have to confess I watch little television, so I haven’t seen it. Maybe I need to watch, though.
Not long ago I saw a patient with malignant hypertension. I was very worried about her. When we started out her BP was 240/120, and I was afraid she’d have a stroke before I got it under control. It took some time, but I began to breathe a sigh of relief once we got down to the 150/90 range.
She was on two meds. As much as I hated to do it, a third was indicated.
“Tell you what Ms. Little. I hate to have you on so many pills, but we still need to be a bit lower. You still following your diet?”
“Yes, sir. I ain’t had no salt a’tall.”
“O.K. Let’s add this- one twice a day. I need to see back in two weeks. We’re getting there, though.”
When she returned in two weeks as instructed, she was weak and dizzy. Her blood pressure was 90/50. “Gee, Ms. Little. I’m sorry. I guess I overshot it, maybe we better cut this one pill down to one a day.”
“Could my dog have anything to do with it?”
“How’s that?”
“My granddaughter said I needed to get a dog. She said ever since her Paw-Paw died I ain’t got nobody to look after, and a dog would help me. She read it on the Internet.”
“Hm. Well, I sure don’t see how it could hurt. What kinda dog didja get?”
“She’s a mutt. A real sweetie, too. I love that little dog, I tell ‘ya.”
“Well, Ms. Little. I do believe that is a good idea. How old is your granddaughter?”
“She’s in the fifth grade.”
Dang, scooped by a fifth grader. Maybe I’d better watch more T.V. “O.K. Ms. Little. Tell you what. You cut out that last medicine. And hold onto that dog, too.”
I saw her back in two weeks. She is 118/74 and feels great. From now on, I’m gonna remember two scripts and a dog might trump three meds and no pet therapy. I can’t afford not to be as smart as a fifth grader. It might be bad for my reputation.
Dr. B
Explore posts in the same categories: Advice- Five Cents
Dr. Tom Bibey: Stories of the Bluegrass Music Road 
April 21, 2008 at 6:28 am
That’s pretty funny, however, there could be a reverse affect: I walked outside this morning to catch my Beagle, Gus, wallering around in my wife’s flowerbed. My blood pressure shot through the roof! 😉
April 21, 2008 at 6:59 am
Byron,
Whew- if your wife likes her flowers as much as mine does, Gus had better be glad you were running interference.
This may be a case of Man is Dog’s best friend.
Dr. B
April 21, 2008 at 7:09 am
Along the lines of Byron’s comment, I feel the same way about my cats. I love them and they make me happy when I get to pet them and they purr their appreciation, but I’m not so wild about them when they bring dead things to my door or they scratch the furniture. It’s a give and take, I guess, just like anything else. The best we can hope for is that the give side wins out.
April 21, 2008 at 7:14 am
True chili. If we only keep the perfect relationships we won’t have any.
Dr. B
April 21, 2008 at 9:56 am
Good story! That fifth grader knows her stuff. I’ll bet she makes a good doctor too!
April 21, 2008 at 10:11 am
I need to put the child on retainer!
Hey Pande, check out the comment section on the Fish Camp Jam story. Smitty from Mississippi commented on your good taste re: how to fix catfish.
Dr. B
April 21, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Kids are so perceptive – that is a great story and it made me smile! Its nice that her family listened to her very wise advice…
April 21, 2008 at 4:25 pm
As we say in bluegrass, she’s a good’un.
Dr. B
April 21, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Hi Dr. B,
Thanks for your comment on my guest page. Sooner or later, I’ll get that guest page so I can reply directly, but that’s down the road.
I do hope you enjoy the book. It’s meant to entertain and, as Randall Hylton used to say, “give a few chuckles and an occasional belly-laugh.” I’d love to hear your opinion of it after you read it. I had a lot of fun writing it.
Your blog is genuinely interesting and I enjoy checking in to see what you’re writing about.
Aquariums also help blood pressure, but I believe a dog is easier to pet and hug.
Thanks again and have a great day!
Fran Rizer
April 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Hee! And some people scoff at those who are mourning a beloved pet… I’m glad the patient thought to mention it, pets really do help calm a person, and help them get well. Something to nurture and interact with.
April 21, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Fran,
The bluegrass road is a long and winding one. I have no doubt our paths will cross.
Dr. B
April 21, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Kat,
As the old saying goes, I wish everyone in the world thought as much of me as my dog does.
I too am convinced of the benefits of pet therapy.
Dr. B
April 22, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Sheesh…that’s cheatin’ writin’. You put a sick woman, an animal, and a kid in the same story. How can you miss? – Ted
April 22, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Ted,
The great Jethro Burns said your act should never follow dancing animals or small children- no way to compete with ’em.
Dr B
April 24, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Heh, thought I’d stop by to state I’m wearing my “Please God, let me be the kind of person my cat thinks I am” t-shirt today. *smile*
April 27, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Ms. kat,
Animal lovers are the good guys!
Dr. B